Lost in the motions

From Todaycollegetour

Catergory:Regis I want you to visualize this... (pause) a girl, alone, empty, lost, numb, she smiles and pretends that she's ok. A girl who is loved by family and friends, but doesn't feel it, doesn't believe it. A girl who fakes all the confidence in the world and wants to have it. She is happy all day and at night, it hits like a ton of bricks...depression. Her "smile" fades and she is no longer here. Overall, she is "happy", but never really happy. Can you grasp the picture that I am painting? This girl, watch her eyes, do you see anything behind them? Wouldn't be a surprise if you didn't, she feels lost to any form of emotion. But if you do see something, what do you see? This is a girl who is liked by most, she has friends, she has people she loves and who love her... er well she thinks they may. But at night when she doesn't know who to talk to because waht she is feeling is what no one should ever have to feel. She picks up her phone and scrolls through every single last name, she can't find anyone who would care, who would listen. Also, she doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. It's late, she figures let them sleep, I will be ok. It always ends up that way. This girl may come off as suicidal, but she knows she could never do that. She can't leave her family and friends. But she stops to wonder if anyone besides her family would really care. Finally, she goes to sleep and wakes up the next day and goes through the same motions as the day before. Some days are better- she is happy. But others- she fakes happy. This girl is depressed. But, would you have ever guessed that this girl who feels this way is me?!